


Heavy Is the Head

by ithilien22



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 01:50:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6933112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ithilien22/pseuds/ithilien22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been three months since Alec called off the wedding and Jace disappeared with Valentine. Jace is finally home now, Valentine's regime is severely weakened, and things are getting back to normal at the institute.</p><p>Alec wants to scream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heavy Is the Head

When he enters the briefing room, he doesn't expect to find his mother waiting for them - that's his first mistake. He knows Lydia left for Idris yesterday, to report her findings on the New York institute, but he'd stupidly assumed that he would be the acting head in her absence. His mother would not have made the same assumption, and he knows that. He shouldn't have let it catch him off guard.

But he does. He walks into the briefing room just behind Isabelle and Clary and falls completely silent, stopping himself mid-conversation with Jace, in his surprise at seeing her standing there. He hasn't talked to her - not a real conversation, at any rate - in three months. They're careful in all their communication now, like strangers making small talk at a bus stop. It's jarring, to say the least, so Alec avoids her when he can. But he can't avoid his new acting commander.

"We've received intel that there's been heightened demon activity near the wharf over the past few weeks," Maryse tells them matter-of-factly, without preamble. "The intel comes from downworlder sources and is suspect at best, but I'm sending you four to patrol the area tonight anyway, just to scout whether there's any truth to it."

It's supposed to be Alec's night off. With Jace back and Clary having joined the team, they've been taking turns with patrol on routine runs like this one. Alec glances furtively over at Jace, but his parabatai is already opening his mouth to say, "Izzy, Clary, and I can handle it. That's not a four person job."

Maryse only spares a glance at Jace before her eyes immediately snap over to Alec. She raises an eyebrow in challenge.

"Do you have somewhere else you need to be?" She asks.

Alec fights the urge to fidget, keeping his fingers laced behind his back and his spine straight.

"I have plans with Magnus," he answers, keeping it simple but honest.

"And promises to the warlock are more important than your duty here," she bites back. It's not a question.

"If we actually needed him, you know it wouldn't even be a question," Izzy cuts in hotly, pulling their mother's focus. "But this is routine patrol. There's no reason to send Alec, you're just doing it to try to keep him away from Magnus."

"No reason?" Maryse repeats. Her tone is low and clipped, a warning. "Do you not remember where Lydia is right now? What do you think would happen if something were to go wrong while she's away? If we can't keep this institute together in her absence? But of course, I'm just meddling in my son's personal life, not trying to keep us from losing our place here for good."

Izzy cheeks color slightly at Maryse's reproof, but she still holds her chin up defiantly. "Nothing is going to happen," she says.

"And if it does," Clary cuts in quickly, "we can just call him. Magnus could portal him over in like, 2 seconds with his..." 

She trails off into a gesture that Alec assumes is meant to represent Magnus's magic, but more closely resembles someone conducting an orchestra while drunk. Alec has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. 

Maryse, however, is not amused. 

"I can see why this would all be a joke to _you_ ," she says, eyeing Clary distastefully before looking around at the rest of them, "but I would have expected a little more concern from you three, since our family's standing with the Clave is at stake."

Jace and Izzy both open their mouths to defend themselves, but Alec beats them to it.

"She's right," he says and hates himself for it. Maryse looks over at him sharply with surprise and something else he can't quite place. "We need to be extra cautious while Lydia is in Idris. The Clave could even be planning some sort of evaluation for us, like when Lydia glamoured herself as Valentine. We can't be too careful."

Izzy furrows her brows, clearly annoyed, but Maryse simply nods, considering the matter resolved.

"Good, I'll expect your report in the morning," she tells them before walking briskly out of the room.

As soon as their mother is out of sight, Izzy immediately rounds on him. 

"What the hell was that?" she demands. "Magnus has been texting me all day, he's so excited for tonight. I can't believe you're letting her bully you into canceling."

"Yeah, no offense you guys, but your mom is a total bitch," Clary adds helpfully.

"Besides," Jace says, rolling his eyes slightly at Clary's comment. "Lydia didn't leave Maryse in charge, Alec. _You_ should be the head of the institute. You don't need to take orders from her."

"Our mother has more experience," Alec deflects, even though he knows he's been effectively running the institute for her since he was a teenager. He glances at Izzy, "and I'm sure Magnus will understand one missed dinner."

He knows they're all trying to help, but he doesn't need this from them right now. He just needs everyone to focus and do their jobs, so that there's not a new mess for him to clean up tomorrow. 

Izzy looks like she wants to keep arguing with him, but she must see something in his face that dissuades her. Jace just nods, clearly not pleased but willing to respect Alec's decision.

"Alright," he says, "let's gear up then."

"I'll meet you at the weapon's cache," Alec tells them as they start to file out. "I need to call Magnus."

When they're gone, he lets out a breath and finally gives into the urge he's been fighting to rub at the back of his neck. He's so fucking tired.

Magnus picks up on the second ring and his bright, "hello, Alexander," is like a physical balm across Alec's tense shoulders.

"Hey Magnus," he says, leaning some of his weight back against the table. "I uh... I'm calling about tonight."

"Great minds," Magnus replies happily. Alec can hear fabric rustling through the phone, and imagines Magnus in his big walk-in closet, debating his ensemble for the evening. "I was just thinking that maybe we could make it a night in instead. I could order noodles from that new place you liked."

Alec closes his eyes for a moment, focusing on the picture in his mind of Magnus in his closet, flipping through hangers even though he's already wearing something stunning, the phone pressed into the crook of his neck so both hands are free. Alec would give anything to be standing there beside him, to be heading over to Magnus's apartment right now. 

Instead, he huffs out a sigh and says, "I'm really sorry, but I actually have to cancel."

There's a slight pause and Alec swears he can _hear_ Magnus's disappointment in the silence. But when Magnus speaks again, his voice is isn't angry, it's concerned.

"Maryse?" he asks, and Alec feels a hysterical laugh trying to bubble to the surface.

"How did you know?" He manages not to laugh, but his tone still sounds amused and out of place to his own ears.

"I was with you when Lydia left yesterday," Magnus reminds him, voice still soft and fond. "I was worried your mother might try to take advantage of her absence."

"She talks to Isabelle and I like we're still children," Alec vents. "She didn't wait a day after Lydia left to start barking orders at us again. But the worst part is that I agree with her. I should be out there tonight, Magnus. There's so much at stake right now with the Clave, with Lydia. She's right."

"Agreeing with your mother on one mission doesn't make her... _right_ ," Magnus says carefully. 

"She doesn't say your name anymore," Alec whispers, closing his eyes again and wishing himself into Magnus's cozy loft instead of the harshly fluorescent institute. "She looks at me like she doesn't see me anymore."

Magnus makes a low sound over the phone and Alec swears he feels the ghost of his boyfriend's lips brush his temple. He sighs. 

"I'm sorry about dinner, Magnus," he says.

"Do what you need to do," Magnus tells him, all encouragement and care, "but _be safe_ and come to me after, OK?"

"It'll be really late- or, well, early," Alec reminds him. 

"Then I'll make waffles," Magnus replies easily and Alec feels the edges of his mouth tilt up. He loves waffles. 

He loves Magnus.

"OK," he agrees. He finally opens his eyes back to the sharp interior of the briefing room. "I have to go."

"Be safe," Magnus repeats one more time before Alec clicks off the connection. 

He slowly pushes off from the table and stretches his shoulders, straightening his spine once more before heading back out into the institute to join the others. 

Patrol is uneventful, as expected, and Maryse takes the report without even looking up at him, but Alec is too tired to feel resentful. By the time he makes it to Magnus's loft, he's too tired for waffles even, but Magnus doesn't seem to mind. He just tucks him into his enormous, impossibly soft bed and strokes Alec's hair as he starts to drift off almost immediately. 

"M'sorry," Alec mumbles, even as he starts to lose his grip on consciousness. He doesn't know what he's apologizing for, exactly, just that of all the people in his life, Magnus doesn't deserve any of this.

"Shh," Magnus murmurs, and Alec realizes he's not just idly petting at his hair, but he's using a hint of his magic to soothe away the aches of the long day. "Just let me take care of you."

And Alec does.

**Author's Note:**

> Come prompt me on [tumblr](https://ithilien-writes.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
